Ironically enough, a year earlier to my tearful departure, Jon and I rolled into Ottawa feeling like the world was at our fingertips and that the start of our big boy and girl post-university lives were about to begin.
Somewhere between September 08 and September 09 it all unraveled.
I used to think that that was the worst thing that could have happened, but it turns out it was the best.
In the last 6 months, I moved to London, learned I would be ok on my own, and packed up my stuff and left before the dust had time to settle on my stereo.
I visited the West Coast and learned that sometimes standing up for yourself means losing people you love. I also learned that forgiving and forgetting is almost impossible....both the forgiving and the forgetting. It's impossible to forgive if you can't forget, and if you can't forget, then you really haven't forgiven at all.
I learned that the city I avoided for so long for different reasons is actually the place I love the most and the place I have felt most at home in a very long time.
I've realized that not every person stays in your life forever, that your friendships will change, grow, blossom, and even sometimes wilt. I lost a close friend because I couldn't compete with history, and while I still miss him, I'm ok with the separation. If he and I reconcile, that would be great and if we don't, that's ok too. I've also learned that the people who don't love your flaws, don't love you at all.
I learned that my arts degree is in fact not useless and that realizing the career path I want to take is just as satisfying as landing the job itself.
I've realized that 26 is in fact not old and that you really are as old as you allow yourself to feel. I've learned that being an adult does not make me immune to school girl crushes, temper tantrums, goofing off, and partying a little too hard.....and that that's ok.
The last 6 months have been exactly what I needed.
I learned I'm bulletproof.
