Hetero-Homo Relations: Gays and the Women Who Love Them

I've been dubbed a fag-hag. I hate the "f" word, always have but it seems to have become attached to my name as of late. Recently I was introduced to a new employee by a co worker as "this is Stephanie, she's a fag hag" I used to laugh it off, but recently I started thinking about the term, gays, the women who love them, and hetero-homo relations in general.

Are the women in the lives of gay men really looked at as hags? The term hag in and of itself is harsh and comes with many negative implications, but do the men of the gay community love us, but pity us at the same time? Do they feel a little sad for us women who are there for them, go shopping with them, do all the things they love, but at the same time don't have a man of their own? What is the connection between the 'mos and the missies, and how to do we as the missies balance the hetero and homo in our lives?

My previous relationship proved to be quite the challenging balancing act of gay life and straight life as I quickly learned, much to my surprise, that for the most part gay men and straight men are like little boys and Michael Jackson.....they aren't quite sure if they like each other, and neither are the rest of us. Why can't gay men and straight men harmoniously co exist? I've been told by both groups that "we just don't have anything in common", but isn't that really looking at the world through a pinhole? Do gay men really think that straight men sit around watching football, drinking beer, talking tits, and burping? And do straight men really think that gay men go shopping, fix their hair, and are always checking them out?

Can gay men and straight men widen the pigeon hole to co exist? Or will the gays and the straights continue to be at odds like a mother in law who pretends to like her daughter in law, but secretly thinks she shows a little too much cleavage at the dinner table?

As women, how do we balance our heteros and our 'mos? I found this the most challenging thing of all as the two groups do not integrate well, so I was often in the position of choosing one group over the other. Straight men won't go to gay bars, I've been told that straight boys "smell" and therefore straight bars are out of the question, the two orientations apparently have NOTHING to talk about, so how does the balancing act work? In the sexual sandbox of life, who gets to play with the shovel? And as "hags" are we always getting the slightly shorter end of the stick, having fun with our 'mos but going home alone? Or hanging out with our heteros and missing out on good times?

Straight boys, the gays aren't into you. Gay boys, there's more to straight boys that football and fucking.....can't we all just get along?