cougar: An older woman who frequents clubs in order to score with a much younger man. The cougar can be anyone from an overly surgically altered wind tunnel victim, to an absolute sad and bloated old horn-meister, to a real hottie or milf. Cougars are gaining in popularity -- particularly the true hotties -- as young men find not only a sexual high, but many times a chick with her shit together. --- urbandictionary.com
I've been called a cougar 6 times today. I went to the club on Saturday night and kissed a boy, multiple times....he was 21. I don't even know if he knew how old I was, and truth be told I didn't care. But as the term "cougar" kept popping up, I couldn't help but wonder a few things. 1, why is being a "cougar" to use the term in question, necessarily bad? and 2, where is the male equivalent of a cougar? Why do we celebrate any time a guy ends up with a woman or man, regardless of their age, and lament the women who don't restrict themselves to a certain age bracket?
The cliche saying is that guys who sleep with alot of women are players, girls who sleep with alot of guys, are sluts. Has the stigma of being a slut given birth to the equally prejudiced stigma of being a cougar? When did a younger man suddenly make a woman crazy, desperate, or dirty? And why is it different when women choose to date older men? My last boyfriend, who I was with for three and a half years, was 3 years older than me. Never once in those three and half years did anyone ever question the difference in our age.The boy I kissed at the bar last night, is 4 years younger than me.....wherein lies the difference? Why was my relationship never questioned, but my night of meaningless kissing brought under scrutiny??
What's possibly the most perplexing part of all of this, is that those who are bothered by the idea of a woman dating someone younger than her, can't even explain why. A friend of mine admitted that he found it weird, but at the same time, didn't know why he found it weird, and knew that he shouldn't. So when does the stigma stop and the celebration begin? Why is there still a double standard for single women?
I thought about this alot and came to one, of many questions.....do men (and some women) think that women still need a "protector" thus making the older, boyfriend okay? Does society still see women as needing the "protection" of an older man. Do we still want women to have someone look out for us, help us make decisions, and generally guide our silly heads down the often confusing road of life? Will an older boyfriend help us make decisions, solve our dilemmas, and generally make sure we survive on a day to day basis?
Thanks, but no thanks. If I wanted a father figure, I'd volunteer at a senior citizens home. Why does society still think women need protecting? Why do we still see it as okay for a woman to date an older man, but a younger one raises eyebrows??
The other thing I thought about today, was the potential benefits that come from dating younger men. If my close encounter with the younger kind taught me anything, its that younger men like in control women. Saturday I completely called the shots, I danced when I wanted to dance, kissed when I wanted to kiss, gave him my number when I felt like he had earned it, and left the club knowing he was watching me walk away. Are the younger men a new generation, who, instead of being intimidated by the in control woman, are actually turned on?
While I'm not officially packing my bags for Courgartown, my passport has been stamped, it's a beautiful little place, and I'll definitely be back to visit! For those of you who see Cougartown as the wrong side of the tracks, you might want to re-evaluate the side of those tracks you so loyally tread....
You`re a star!
ReplyDelete