The Magic Numbers

We live in a society obsessed with numbers. Everything from age, salary, length of our last relationship, and amount of education is numbered and measured.

What might be the most important number when entering into a new relationship is "the" number. The number that can be difficult to talk about, or embarrassing to admit....the number of sexual partners we've had, or the type people we've slept with.

My last relationship of three years was with someone who had significantly less sexual experience than me, and this initially raised issues, as my boyfriend suddenly became self conscious during sex, because he felt compared to every other person I had been with. I had a discussion with someone else today who didn't want to admit to their boyfriend who they had slept with for fear of being judged as slutty or trashy. In a society where we are judged based on every other number in our life, do we really need to start judging ourselves and each other based on our sexual past? And is there really a magic number? How many is too many? How few makes you inexperienced? Why do we search for a magic number, when there probably isn't one to be found?

So whether we are 26, make $50 000 a year, have slept with 15 people, or 5 people, we need to stop numerically ranking every aspect of our lives, judging ourselves, and allowing other people to place judgment on us based on the numbers in our lives.

The other question that comes with numbers is equivalency and equality. Can we date someone who makes significantly more or less money than us? Do we really need to know how many partners our significant other has had? And if you feel like you need to know, ask yourself "why do I need to know? Why are we so hung up on the numbers?? We've become the Sesame Street Count in every aspect of our lives "one, two, ten sexual partners" "20, 30, 40 000 dollars a year" "3, 4, 5, previous relationships". Eventually, the beads on the abacus of life will run out, and all we will be left with are judgments.

While the numbers on the scale don't lie, the rest of the numbers in life don't matter! Our age is irrelevant, money can't buy complete happiness, (although it can buy nice boots) and our past should remain in the past. The numbers act as a form of judgment. Drop the numbers, drop the judgement.

Have your 25th (or 26th) birthday cake, and eat it too!!